Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Pressure We Face

In my seven years of being a stay-at-home mother, I have been in many odd situations. When I meet a new person at the church, laundry room, the playground, or any social meeting people often ask me , "Where do you work?", as if there was no other option but to be a career woman.

And when I tell them that I made a choice to be with my children full time the conversation is over because those people think that  a stay-at-home Mom is uninteresting, doesn't have any talents, or anything important to say or at least their behaviour towards them says that. Don't get me wrong, I have many friends who do respect my choice, but I can't help to think how wrong it is for the society to "look down" on us.

Did you ever encounter such situations? I think those of us who live in a community where there are many women who chose to stay at home don't feel as much pressure, but in my area I know of very few women who do. This makes me more exposed to the pressure to conform into the working mother mold, as if caring for our children wasn't any work at all, or as if it is something to be ashamed of.

Later they wonder why our children are so happy and well behaved. This is not to say that all children of working mothers aren't happy and  do not behave well, because many working mothers do manage to pay a lot of attention to their children and parent, despite of handling a full time job; I admire these mothers very much, but there are some who cannot do both, and as a result, their children do feel uncared for because the child care providers just cannot do the mothering or fathering instead of the parents.

These children are left behind and get into all sorts of troubles by the time they reach teen years, while the children who had a t least one parent at home with them full time are a lot less likely to have such problems.

My heart goes out to  women who try to do both just because the popular culture says that they will be worthless if they become "house wives", and it has very sad consequences for their families. If you are not happy with your career and think constantly of your children at work, then you should seriously consider becoming stay-at-home Mom for a time. It will take some sacrifices, but if you have supportive husband and you are both willing to scale down on unnecessary expenses, you can have a comfortable life on one income.I will share some ideas about that later on in this blog.


  1. I'm with you 100%. I blogged about this too. I pray we can pave the way to make motherhood a respected profession. There's a good book, "Professionalizing Motherhood" by Jill Savage, on this topic. Hearts at Home Ministries.

  2. I tottaly agree with you. It's also hard for the kids when you go out because practicaly EVERYONE asks "Why aren't you at school today?" None of THEIR business!!