In my seven years of being a stay-at-home mother, I have been in many odd situations. When I meet a new person at the church, laundry room, the playground, or any social meeting people often ask me , "Where do you work?", as if there was no other option but to be a career woman.
And when I tell them that I made a choice to be with my children full time the conversation is over. Don't get me wrong, I have many friends who do respect my choice, but I can't help to think how wrong it is for the society to "look down" on us.
Did you ever encounter such situations? I think those of us who live in a community where there are many women who chose to stay at home don't feel as much pressure, but in my area I know of very few women who do. This makes me more exposed to the pressure to conform into the working mother mold, as if caring for our children wasn't any work at all, or as if it is something to be ashamed of. Later they wonder why our children are so happy and well behaved. This is not to say that all children of working mothers aren't happy and don'y behave well because many working mothers do manage to pay a lot of attention to their children, despite of handling a full time job; I admire these mothers very much, but htere are some who cannot do both, and as a result, their children do feel uncared for because the child care providers just cannot do the mothering.
My heart goes out to these women who try to do both just because the popular culture says that they will be worthless if they become "house wives", and it has very sad consequences for their families.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Popular Myths about Stay-at-home Moms
Most people have a mental picture of a modern stay-at-home Mom as an unatractive woman with perpetual rolers on her head who does nothing except watching soaps on TV, but reality is very different. If anyone wants to know what the daily life of these mothers really looks like, one must hear about it directly from them.
Women who choose to be with their kids don't have time for soaps because they are too busy investing their time into not only the life of their children, but also into getting involved in the community, and into developing themselves as individuals.
The view advocated by known feminist philospher Linda R. Hirshman, in recent years , who says that caring for children doesn't require great intelect and is a waste of woman's potential is also one of these myths.
Every mother knows that raising children who are going to achieve sucsess in life takes much more than giving them food, clothing them, and making sure they are going to have money for their post secondary education, though these are very important indeed. The multiple pressures of modern life that they are going to face requires them to be emotionally healthy and of a strong character. And to raise children who will have these necessary qualities takes a lot of intelect , wisdom, and time on the part of both parents, especially mothers.
Women who choose to be with their kids don't have time for soaps because they are too busy investing their time into not only the life of their children, but also into getting involved in the community, and into developing themselves as individuals.
The view advocated by known feminist philospher Linda R. Hirshman, in recent years , who says that caring for children doesn't require great intelect and is a waste of woman's potential is also one of these myths.
Every mother knows that raising children who are going to achieve sucsess in life takes much more than giving them food, clothing them, and making sure they are going to have money for their post secondary education, though these are very important indeed. The multiple pressures of modern life that they are going to face requires them to be emotionally healthy and of a strong character. And to raise children who will have these necessary qualities takes a lot of intelect , wisdom, and time on the part of both parents, especially mothers.
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