Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Equally Shared Parenting

I think that even though many people think of our family as traditional, with a man working full time and a woman staying at home with children, we do practice equally shared parenting where both man and woman have equal say about everything that pertains to their lives and share parenting duties.

 I did not even realize that until I read a book about equally shared parenting. My husband has as much to say about how to raise, dress, and educate our children as I do, just as I have as much to say about how we are going to spend our money as he does. Just because I spend more time taking care of our home and children than he does, doesn't mean that he is not involved and not sharing all the burdens with me. The same goes for financial issues, just because he spends more time earning the money, doesn't mean that he will not get me involved with all the decision making when it comes to spending and saving them.

I think that society at large looks upon homemaking with disdain because it assumes that women who stay at home are automatically burdened with inequality; left alone with all the parenting and house cleaning tasks while being excluded from financial decision making, which is not always the case.

Many women who work outside their home still have to deal with all the parenting and house cleaning at home after work, so having a career doesn't take away any lack of equality. Equality has nothing to do with staying at home or getting a job outside, but it depends on mentality of each individual couple.

It is important that both parents are involved in parenting even when only one of them stays at home most of the time. Children need to know that both Mommy and Daddy have the same authority, that they should respect and obey both parents. So, instead of complaining at lack of equality let us practice more of it in our homes and families.

The society has to stop looking down on stay-at-home parents and Dads who cook and clean at home. There is nothing more irritating than to hear comments on Dads who take care of their kids that they are "baby sitting". No. my husband does not do any baby sitting, he simply parents his children.

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